It’s snowing today and it’s cold outside. When I walked the dogs at the crack ass of dawn we were all freezing our asses off. The dogs don’t really like the cold weather any more than I do. And my dogs really hate the rain. They don’t seem to mind the snow so much – I wonder why? But none of us like the cold weather – the dogs just pee on the bushes and high tail it back to the porch to come inside. And I’m right there with them, trust me on this.
Most mornings I get up and pull on the clothes from last night and grab my coat and get the dogs out as fast as I can so they pee outside and not on the furniture. I know its hard to control your bladder after hours of sleeping, so I try to help them out with a walk right away in the morning. Then after the dogs do their business, I come back in the house and take a shower and put on fresh clothes. That routine works most of the time for us.
Wonder if this snow is going to stick to the ground and actually amount to anything? I heard on the Weather Channel that over 60% of the country has snow on the ground today. That’s a lot of ground to be covered in white!
There are channels on cable for music instead of all the movies and old show reruns that you get every day. You know the saying, 700 channels and nothing on. That’s daytime TV – even with cable and “on demand” movies and TV shows. Sometimes I get sick of the shows and just want some pleasant background noise to keep me company during the day. So the Music Channels are in the 400s and I can never remember the right channel number for the classic Rock station. I just use the remote to enter 410 or 411 and then hit the guide to go up and down until I find the fucking classic rock station. Some of the other stations sounds interesting but when I give them a try they always disappoint. And forget MTV or VH! – all they do is show movies and reality shows – they don’t even play music videos anymore.
So now I’ve got it on channel 412 and they just played Black Sabbath, which it not what I would call classic rock, but I listened to that and now the song is Truckin by the Grateful Dead. I’m not sure who does the programming for these cable music channels, but why the fuck would anyone play the Grateful Dead right after Black Sabbath? This programming really sucks ass, but what can you do?
So this guy that I knew back in high school is married and all that happy horse shit, and I saw him and his wife at the 10 year high school reunion. But we aren’t really friends, even though Facebook says so. Know what I mean?
So out of the blue, this guy sends me a private message on Facebook and says that he is coming to town for a big business meeting and he wants to know if I can go out to dinner with him while he’s in town. So I think, why the hell not? I didn’t even ask if his wife was coming with in – it didn’t matter to me if she was coming or not. I figured he just wanted someone to have dinner with so he could take a break away from all the business people he was cooped up with all day at his big meetings.
Well, big mistake. His wife was not on the trip and he was on the company dime, so we went to a nice restaurant and he got drunk really fast. And then the fucker starts hitting on me, saying shit like how much he’s missed me since the good old days back in high school How he always regretted not staying in touch and he never should have gotten married to his wife, they were too young, they’ve changed, she doesn’t understand him, yadda yadda yadda.
I have to tell you, this was not a fun night. I got better things to do than watch an old fat man getting drunk and blubbering about how unhappy he is with his wife. Fuck that. I put his drunk ass into a taxi and sent him back to the hotel and got the hell out of there.
One of the girls at work just got back from a vacation in Mexico and was warning everyone about how the rental car company tried to rip them off. She and her hubby decided to travel for the Thanksgiving holiday because they would enjoy the time alone with each other a whole lot more than spending time eating bad food at either of their family’s homes.
I tell you what, I wish I had thought of that solution years ago. I can’t tell you how many fucked up thanksgiving dinners I’ve gone to over the years for the sake of “family togetherness.” I think the worst one was when we went to my stepfather’s daughter’s house for a cold meal served on folding tables in her garage. Yes, it was in her fucking garage! And then we had to listen to her husband bitch and whine about how long it took him to totally clear out the garage and box up and moved all his crap to their basement.
Anyway, this rental car company in Mexico have this way of returning cars. You take it back to the airport and get your luggage and shit out of the car and go inside to the counter. They have a guy who drives the car around to a side are where he checks the gas to make sure you filled it with gas or they charge you out the ass for topping off the tank. But we all know this, right? So, they are waiting for the guy to come in and say the gas tank is full and everything is fine and they can pay the bill and go get their flight. But instead, the guy comes in with a funny look on his face and he talks to the clerk behind the counter, who gets a big frown on his face, too.
So my friend is worried why they are looking like that and the clerk announces to her hubby that they have a problem. He says there is no fucking gas cap on the car. Now, they had just filled the car up at the gas station and they know they put the gas cap back on. But the clerk insists that has gone missing – perhaps they mistakenly left it at the gas station? But what the fuck are they supposed to do? They have to catch their flight home and don’t have time to fuck around with this. Even if they were to take the car back to the gas station to see if they left the gas cap there, what’s to say that someone would have taken it from the gas station before they got back? And what’s to say that they even left it there? What if the guy at the rental car place took it off himself and lied about it being missing? What the hell can you do but suck it up and pay the clerk an extra $30 for a gas cap? That’s bullshit! But that’s what they had to do to get home. Rip off!
Unless you are living under a rock or not here in the United States, you know that tomorrow is Thanksgiving and that most of us celebrate the day with a big family dinner that features a roasted turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes, and pies for dessert. We carry on this tradition every year to recognize the sacrifices made by our founding fathers and mothers and the hard life they endured while they tried to steal land from the native indians and find a way to grow shit and hunt so that the villagers didn’t starve to death every winter.
I’m not a big fan of history and I’m sure my teacher would be appalled at how I just described Thanksgiving, but I don’t give a fuck. That’s the hard truth and you can dress it up with stories about making friends with indians and shit, but the truth is that white people came to America on ships and started stealing shit from the people who already lived here.
Anyway, I have turkey on my mind. My mom was a big fan of turkey dinners and all the traditional side dishes. She liked to make this green bean casserole that had green beans, mushroom soup and fried onion rings on top. I don’t know what makes that green bean dish so important at Thanksgiving, but it’s a big deal down south. And the proper southern moms will trot that same green bean dish out again for the traditional Christmas dinner, too.